It’s Tuesday, time for the anonymous mailbag to distract all of you from work.
As always you can email your anonymous questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, anonymity guaranteed.
Here we go:
“Got a friend who has turned into one of ‘those people.’ He always, without fail, will turn every conversation into politics. It’s pretty exhausting. He’s a Republican voter, and so another friend and I decided to get him for April Fool’s. We signed his email up for numerous newsletters, from the DNC to AOC to Ilhan Omar and the Impeach Trump newsletter. Several of these newsletters have hit and his reactions have been great. He does not suspect that it’s been any of us (see pictures) and thinks he’s been hacked.
“I’ve been out with a woman three times and she hasn’t paid for any of it. We’re both young professionals (I’m an attorney and she’s a financial analyst) in our 20s. She makes more money than I do, and offered to pay for drinks on the first date which I said it’s fine I got it. The second date she was in the bathroom when the check came (not sure if it was on purpose or not). The third time I let it sit there and when she didn’t even look at the check I decided it’s apparent that I’m paying. And because its relevant, I’m not getting laid either.
Am I being unreasonable in expecting her to at least give me an offer to pay? Like I said, she makes more money than I do, but just because I asked her out does that mean I have the obligation to pay every time?”
She’s a financial analyst who has made the calculated decision that you should pay for the privilege of spending time with her.
Even in an age of #metoo and total equality, a huge percentage of women still believe that men should pay for all dates.
So the next time the check arrives at dinner, refuse to pay. Sit there as long as necessary until she offers. If she won’t offer then inform her that as a huge proponent of the sexes being equal you believe a couple should split all dating costs and you’ve noticed that she hasn’t paid for anything so far.
She knows she hasn’t paid — again, she’s a financial analyst, money isn’t sneaking up on her — so she can’t play dumb here.
I have no idea how she’ll respond — she might like the fact that you stood up to her and showed some balls — or she might hate you and stop returning your texts. But either way, so what?
Plus, let’s be honest, if you really liked her that much you wouldn’t be complaining about having to pay for everything.
It’s not just that you’re paying for everything, it’s that you think she isn’t worth it.
So you might as well move on.
“I recently got engaged and moved in with my girlfriend. Adjusting to this new lifestyle has been a lot easier than I expected with one catch- I feel like I have to pull a Tiger Woods like Masters comeback to be able to do what I want. I’m not saying come home and play video games for 8 hours after work or go to Vegas with the boys. I’m talking about 1-2 hours a day where I can do something I like.
Another element of urgency is that I start law school in the Fall and I know my time for fun will disappear instantly. I’m pretty active helping around the house -on a daily basis, so I’m not putting everything on her. As I sit in the living room with my DBAP shirt I’m beyond confused. What would you do in this situation and any other tips on the matter?”
If you are already unable to do what you like for even a couple of hours a day now that you live with your girlfriend you need to move out as soon as possible.
I’m not even kidding.
I’m a big proponent of living together before you get married, but if you’re single and your girlfriend is already sucking up all of your free time the rest of your life with her is going to be miserable.
Escape while you can.
That’s especially the case if you’re soon to be a first year law student because you’re about to enter intellectual boot camp. This means you’ll have limited free time and the free time you do have you’ll probably want to spend being able to cut really loose.
I know there were several married people in my law school classes, but I can’t imagine doing law school married because it would have cut out 90% of the fun of being in school with your classmates and all that would have been left was the grind, which is substantial.
So I think it’s incredibly important for you to create some space for yourself while you can.
Good luck doing it while you still can.
“I’m early 30s working in a service based department for about 3 years. There’s about 15 in our department, but our company has about 6,000 across the board.
I love what I do and who I work with, but myself and others don’t feel like there’s good leadership in our department. One guy abuses the lax schedule we have in place- he will not come in at all for an entire day, but doesn’t take any PTO on his timesheet- and the manager doesn’t call him on his bullshit. And that’s a weekly occurrence. On top of that, he’s lazy and his work reflects that constantly. People are unhappy about it, but nothing happens.
Not to mention the fact that we are about to move from all having offices to all being in a cubicle farm in a few months.
So….we have an anonymous ‘employee of the month’ type suggestion box in the hallway. You write in someone’s name and why they deserve it, etc.
My question is- would it be a good idea to anonymously write on this submission our displeasure with our current environment to really voice our opinions? Would it even be worth it? Like I said, we all get along, but this one guy ruins a lot of people’s days with his abuse of the system.”
Yes, I think this is a good idea.
You didn’t mention it, but I’d think not only is this guy taking advantage of a weak boss, but he’s also probably making all of you have to work harder to keep up with his laziness.
So go ahead and put him anonymously on blast and hope your company is intelligent enough to handle his behavior.
If they aren’t, I’d start looking for another job. Any company run this poorly, unless it’s the government, will eventually face severe issues.